It’s fall-ish. I love fall. Well, most falls. This fall is kinda’ sucky. My body is ready for cool fall days, crisp, clear fall nights. The other month when it was 39 degrees in the morning, I loved it. I already have my dress sweater vests (yes, plural) ready for wearing. Alas, it is near 80 and humid. Rats.
I don’t know, maybe it is genetic.
There has to be something in my Deoxyribonucleic acid that makes me such an expert. My blue-collar dad was always fussy about how his clothes fit. The buttons on his shirt had to line up with his belt buckle and zipper on his trousers. I think he called it his “gig line.”
His father, John Joseph Jeremiah Rush, over 6 feet tall, with a 28-inch waste and barrel chest, was a clothes model in Detroit in the 1920s.
Is it any wonder why I am considered by almost everybody in the universe that swirls around me as a fashion GOD?
I know, it’s a hard burden to carry, but I have broad, deity-like shoulders. I can handle the responsibility and I‘m about to share with you, my minions, that my fashion-maven spidy senses really start to tingle when the temperatures fall (like they are not doing now, mid-October, 2017.)
(Time out! I just Googled maven to see how it was spelled — with an I or an E . . . maven is from the Yiddish word “meyvn.” Who woulda thunk it? Learn something new all the time! Now back to this “gem” of a column.)
Forty-degree mornings and 50-something-degree days will open the clothes closet to my soul and get me itchy to head to the Salvation Army to purchase some new-used sweaters and stuff.
Normally at this time of the year the Detroit Lions are losing football games as only they can and my dazzlingly skilled, and well-honed fashion senses start tingling so powerfully that were I a spider, my entire 1,800-square-foot money-pit-of-a-home would be covered with a fine, silk-like web. (Not that silk is my go-to fabric. Think cotton, flannel.)
Alas, I ain’t a spider, just a man with a plan. And that plan (in a word, though it’s really two) is SWEATER VEST.
Bam! There it is, in writing: The Secret To My Fashion success. I know, I know, some guys like to keep their secrets close to their chest (under their sweater vests), however, I am all being a benevolent leader. I am about sharing.
When fall weather finally does come, I hope my spectacularly wonderful, and ever-growing sweater vest collection will have the color purple. I don’t have a purple vest yet and purple is so . . . so, royal. Yeah — that’s it, King of the Sweater Vests, that’s me.
You don’t dig the sweater vest look?
How about khaki slacks? Your thoughts on white, puffy tennis shoes?
How about tan colored, lace-up shoes?
Okay, how about this look . . . blue jeans (with a crease in the legs), Hawaiian shirt, blue sports jacket? How about the creased blue jeans, Hawaiian shirt, blue sports jacket, accompanied with the white, puffy tennis shoes?
Are you doubting my legendary status in the Metro Detroit fashion scene?
It’s the time of year when those of us with dangly bits and with true fashion sense really shine.
I think this is the time of the year when those of you without dangly bits (women) secretly long for, too.
This is the time of year your hearts beat a little faster, your palms sweat a little more, your legs wobble and your heads swoon.
How can you not have feelings of deep longing when you see those of us with fashion moie walking down the aisle at the local grocery wearing (from top to bottom): unbuttoned flannel shirt, contrasting colored tee, tucked into khaki shorts atop white crew socks that stick out of dark work boots?
I ask you, what’s not to love about that fall fashion look?
My fall fashion senses are, as the trendy social media types like to so, “on Fleek.” Spot on. Truly on point.
Ladies, if you need your man to follow my lead into the fine, fall fashion world, drop me a line. I will gladly offer my services for a small consulting fee.
What can I say? I have a talent, a gift when it comes to men’s fashion. And, when you’re so gifted, why be stingy with it?
Am I right?
I believe in sharing my love of fashion with the world. Maybe we should start a new fashion movement, Fashion by Don, and start it here in the Metro Detroit area. I am sure that will help the local economy and help all my man peeps looks simply smashing!
Comments, concerns, suggestions — your thoughts can be e-mailed to Don@ShermanPublications.org