Some signs of spring interesting, believable

By Jim Sherman, Sr.
By Jim Sherman, Sr.

(Sometime soon, Spring will get here in the mean time, here is a Jottings first published in April, 2006)
First of all, forget anything you’ve heard or read about sighting the first robin having any meaning when it comes to Spring. Several showed their red breasts in my yard when there was a couple inches of snow on the ground.
They must just get an urge to fly north, you know, like snowbirds who have to fly south in October when the colors are so great up here. Both groups are failed forecasters.
Here are eight signs of Spring that are refreshing, if not always true:
• When the birds stop singing and your shutters start swinging, a storm is near.
• If a thunderstorm occurs before 7 a.m. in April or May, we’re in for a wet summer.
• When the noon flies bite, rain is in sight.
• When the leaves on the trees turn their backs to the west, a storm is just around the corner.
• Red skies at night, the next day is a delight.
• Red skies in the morning, a storm’s in the warning.
• When the bees leave the flower patch, the rains are a comin’.
• When the hornets fly after sunset, the rainstorm will not come as an upset.
And, deer will eat anything green in the Spring.
Rabbits are happy to taste anything new and tender looking this time of year. Squirrels and chipmunks will avoid daffodils, but will go for a tulip, lily or crocus bulb.
Moles, voles, mice and groundhogs are actively seeking roots of succulent plants.
And, it’s almost impossible to barrier-out these enemies of growth, just like trying to stop development.
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Know what some athletes get when they drive slowly through a campus? A diploma.
The difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? Taxidermists take only our skin.
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Now I’d like to pass this along because it was passed to me and I’d like to get rid of it. “By following this simple advice you may find inner peace.
Simply finish all the things you’ve started and hadn’t finished.
Just finish your opened bottles of vodka, wine, Scotch, Valium, box of chocolates and the beers left in the fridge.”
You have no idea how good I felt. Excuse me, how good you’ll feel with your inner peace.

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