‘I had no right to live?

The Nazis believed that Erna Blitzer Gorman didn’t have the right to live simply because she was Jewish.
Had they caught her, she would have mostly certainly been either shot and dumped into a mass grave or sent to an extermination camp to be poisoned in a gas chamber.
But Gorman wasn’t captured.
Thankfully, she did not become one of the millions of Jews, homosexuals, physically and mentally handicapped individuals, gypsies, Slavic peoples or anyone else deemed inferior by the so-called Master Race who were systematically murdered as part of the Holocaust.
In fact, Gorman triumphed over her Nazi oppressors by surviving their sadistic reign of terror, brutality and mass murder, then going on to live a rich, full life with a loving family of her own.
Today, she continues to triumph over those who worship hate, practice intolerance and thrive on prejudice by telling her story and preaching a message of love, kindness and understanding.
‘We are all alike when we take this facade off. We have red blood in all of us,? said Gorman, who spoke to all the seventh-graders at Oxford Middle School last week.
Gorman is the author of ‘While Other Children Played: A Hidden Child Remembers the Holocaust,? a book that recounts her personal history.
Born in Metz, France in 1934, Gorman is the daughter of a father who was a Jewish immigrant from Poland and a mother who came from an Orthodox Jewish family in the Ukraine. She had an older sister as well.
While attending a family wedding in Wisnice, Poland in 1939, Germany invaded the Eastern European nation and began World War II.
Gorman’s family became trapped in Poland.
‘I knew things were happening,? she said. ‘I knew that because I was Jewish something wrong was happening.?
It was at a young age that she began to learn of the Nazi plan that boiled down to one hideous thing ? ‘I had no right to live.?
‘The whole family was very upset all the time,? she said. ‘That you were not permitted to live is a terrible thing for a young person to know.?
Eventually, the Nazis came and arrested her father’s entire family, some 50 members.
‘I could see the fear on my parent’s faces as we approached the house we were living in with the family,? she said. ‘I see how they were petrified.?
Neighbors told them how the family and all the other Jews from that town were taken away by the Nazis. Able-bodied individuals were to be used for hard labor, while the rest were murdered in the forest.
After this, the family of four fled to Monastyriska, Ukraine to live with Gorman’s maternal grandparents.
She recalled how much she loved her grandfather, whom she described as ‘pleasingly plump.?
‘The only softness I remember, the only gentleness of a body at that particular time ? because I was already stressed out knowing that was destined to die ? was sitting on my wonderful, pudgy grandfather’s lap and pulling on his (side curls) and he would tickle me with his beard,? Gorman said. ‘This was the most precious moment that I remember to this day.?
But just as they did in Poland, the Nazis came for Gorman’s family following their invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941.
Leading them was a German commander harboring an intense hatred for the Jews.
‘His pleasure used to be to gather the Jews and rip the infants out of the mothers? arms and kill them,? Gorman said. ‘He had no problem with pointing a gun and shooting somebody point-blank. No problems at all. This is why he was sent from town to town to murder the Jews, to make sure that the town became clear of Jews.?
This officer marched many of the Jews out of the village, including Gorman’s father.
‘I can see my mother crying,? she said.
Her father became part of a labor detail that was forced to dig a mass grave.
The rest of the Jews, including Gorman’s ‘wonderful, pudgy grandfather,? were ordered to strip off their clothing, after which they were shot in cold blood and dumped into the grave. The Jewish laborers buried them.
Gorman’s father managed to escape. He returned with his head shaved like a criminal.
‘I remember him telling my mother, ‘I just buried your parents and the children.? I remember that and her crying,? she said.
The family ended up living in various Jewish ghettos. Ghetto life was squalid and filled with fear. Food was scarce, disease was rampant and at any moment, Jews could be taken and killed.
‘You could hear screams and (gun) shots at all times,? Gorman said.
It was during her ghetto years that she learned how to hide.
‘I was always hiding,? Gorman said. ‘Imagine a 7-year-old always hiding and being petrified of being caught. That is a horrible thing.?
Her family lived on the first floor of a two-level building, something that saved their lives. They lifted the wooden floor boards and using cups, they were able to dig a small hiding place that was just big enough for the four of them.
She repeatedly called it a ‘tomb? because it was like being ‘buried alive.?
‘There was no air,? Gorman said.
When the Nazis came, the family would hide under the floor, clustered together, trembling in fear as they listened to the frightful sounds of German boots and Jewish screams.
‘All the people that were in the building disappeared,? she said.
Although she was so very afraid, Gorman knew she could not cry out or her family would die. ‘I learned how to be quiet and never raise my voice in any way,? she said.
But she had to express her fear in some way and it took the form of urinating on herself.
Fortunately, Gorman’s family found a savior, a nearby farmer whom she described as a Christian man who ‘decided that he could not stand by and watch people die.?
‘He knew what was happening,? Gorman said. ‘He did not close his eyes to the reality of things. He knew that people were going into ghettos and being murdered or shipped to the concentration camps. He decided he could not live with his God (and do nothing). He had to do something.?
So, one night, Gorman’s family escaped the ghetto and made their way to this farm.
There, the Ukrainian farmer hid them in a hayloft, which Gorman called an ‘unbelievable, courageous? act because the punishment for hiding Jews was death.
‘To me, (this farmer) was a superhero, an angel,? she said. ‘His life was at stake.?
The farmer would bring them three buckets ? one with some food, one with drinking water and one in which to relieve themselves.
‘He was so poor,? Gorman said. ‘He couldn’t spare very much.?
Gorman and her family lived in this hayloft for almost two years.
They never bathed or changed clothing. They couldn’t. They had no water for washing, no soap and no fresh clothing. She described the ‘stench? as ‘quite unbearable.?
Lice got into their clothing, fed on their skin and reproduced. The parasites created large areas of swelling, lesions and boils on their bodies. Gorman recalled how they picked lice off of each other like monkeys.
‘To this day, I cannot go to the zoo,? she said.
Fearful they would be discovered, they never left the loft, they didn’t make any noise and they never moved around. Gorman and her sister watched the farmer’s children playing outside, unable to join them or even let them know of their existence.
For entertainment, they would imagine the lice were an orchestra and each one made a different sound depending on its size.
Over time, Gorman’s body degenerated due to the lack of food, fresh air and movement. She even lost her voice and became a mute.
In the winter of 1944, the Russian army arrived in the Ukraine and the farmer told the family it was time for them to go and join these soldiers.
But the family’s muscles were so badly atrophied from lack of use, none of them could walk. So, the farmer had to carry them down the ladder one by one. They then crawled on their hands and knees over the snow and ice to meet up with the Russians.
When they reached the Red Army, fighting broke out between them and the Germans. Gorman’s mother was severely wounded. She saw blood running down her side.
‘She didn’t even whimper nor did I cry out,? Gorman said. The sight of her mother’s injury produced no emotion in Gorman. She said she felt dead inside, as if she was just a shell of a human being.
The Russians took her mother to a village where she was bandaged, but not cleaned or treated in any other way. Gorman recalled the Ukrainian caregivers referred to her mother as ‘jadova,? which means Jewess.
The family stood there and watched her die. They wrapped her in a blanket and buried her in a shallow grave. To this day, Gorman has no idea where her mother’s grave is located.
Eventually, Gorman’s family was cared for by the Red Cross and returned to Metz, France. But no happy ending awaited them there.
Her father was now a ‘broken man,? her sister was married off and her schoolmates danced around her chanting ‘dirty Jew.?
This anti-Semitic act made Gorman fearful that she was going to relive her days hiding from the Nazis, so she reacted as she had done before by urinating on herself.
‘Can you imagine the shame? Those kids started laughing and pointing fingers at me.?
As a result of this experience and the fact that she needed to work to support herself and her father, Gorman did not return to school. She later educated herself.
In 1953, Gorman and her father immigrated to the United States where they found work and built a life in Detroit. Gorman eventually married and gave birth to two sons. She made a conscious decision never to speak of or think about the horrors of her childhood. She locked those memories up tight.
But that all changed in the 1980s when she was watching a television program about neo-Nazis in America. She saw a young man dressed in a German uniform, raising his arm in the Nazi salute and proudly proclaiming, ‘I am here to finish Hitler’s work.?
Again, she reacted by urinating while sitting on her sofa. ‘How dare this young man think like that,? Gorman said.
This experience eventually prompted her to tell her family about her experiences with the Nazis. She made an audio recording, left the house and let them listen.
When one of her sons brought her back into the house, Gorman saw ‘three grown men? crying. Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. They now understood.
Gorman has taught her children and now, her grandchildren, to be tolerant people who love and accept others.
She hopes her story will have the same impact on OMS seventh-graders.
‘I do hope that you will never, ever experience scapegoating, hating because you are what you are, being prejudicial against anyone,? Gorman said. ‘Everyone whether they are smart or not so smart, tall or not so tall, no matter what the color of their skin or what their religion is, everyone has the right to live.?
‘I beg of you, be kind to the one that is being discriminated (against),? she said. ‘Extend a hand to one another.?
After her presentation, Gorman exchanged hugs with every single student who attended.
‘I don’t remember my sister hugging me,? she said. ‘That’s why I go around and I love to hug people.?