Keeping the monster away
Reader Barb VonKniper responded to the plight of little four-year-old Sean Rush — his nighttime sleeping dilemma. Monsters were keeping the lad up. The lad was keeping his parents up. (So, really it was Sean’s parents? plight/dilemma.) I wrote about Monster spraying the home with Sean to keep the darkness at bay. Barb said she used a trick she learned a from her own dear mother.
Years ago (and I am sure it hasn’t been too many) Barb’s mother would soothe the little Polish-American kids before nighty-night time with this blessing, ‘Idz Bogum.?
Before you twist your tongue out of shape trying to say it, Barb says it’s roughly pronounced, ‘Eedish Boagoom.?
Or, ‘May God be with you.?
For added protection against the evils of the night, Barb says her mother would then splash holy water on the kids and around the room.
If anybody else has a way of dealing with overactive young and not sleeping imaginations, send ’em to me. We can package them in a Don’t Rush Me, I’m Trying To Sleep brochure. I’m sure our efforts in finding a peaceful night’s rest would be useful for other parents not yet in the know or folks considering altering their sleep patterns by raising kids.
Personally (and we’ll just keep this to ourselves) I have resorted to slipping Sean a couple snorts of Irish whiskey before going to bed and then duct tapping the kid to his mattress. He stays in his bed all night and Jen and I get sleep.
(Just kidding — don’t call the cops, Child Protection Folks or my wife!)
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No driving like snow-driving
Last week’s snowfall got me thinking: Is it better to drive in the snow with front-wheel drive or rear-wheel drive?
I know the front-wheel drive gives you more geddi-up-and-go, but it seems to me, it’s easier to control a spin-out with rear-wheel drive. It is just a gut feeling. I could be totally off-base and just reliving my illustrious youth. Way back then, kiddies, we learned to drive with rear-wheel drive vehicles — and some of us even learned to drive with a ‘manual? transmission.
Anybody know the truth about snow driving?
(And, I don’t want any smart-alecs to write in anything remotely resembling: ‘Just buy a stinking four-wheel drive, Rush.?)
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Kids are just too danged smart
Jen and I tell our little hellions we love them quite often. Recently, I told oldest Shamus, ‘I love you wider than the sky — bigger than the sun –?
Before I could embellish any further, my waxing poetic was cut off, by himself, Shamus. ‘That would be about 13,000 Earths.?
‘What would? What are you talking about, Shamus??
‘The sun,? he replied matter-of-factly. ‘The sun is about 13,000 Earths.?
‘Get to bed, show-off.?
Kids today watch too much science television and read too many science books. Whatever happened to Scooby-Doo cartoons and books with Curious George and the man in the big yellow hat?
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Progressing into the year 2005
Just a friendly reminder to those who do business locally: Our ad staff will be out selling our annual Progress section. This is our biggest undertaking of the year and (for those who don’t know) is our annual business review. Area business buys an ad and gets a free story/photo.
During this time we put a leash on all reporter-types when it comes to publishing ‘new? business stories. Normally when we get notified of a new business, we’ll do an interview, take a picture and run a nice story.
During Progress, we don’t.
Comments for Mr. Smarty-pants Rush can be e-mailed to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Keeping the monster away