It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans! So Frank Drebin waxed philosophically in the 1988 comedy The Naked Gun: From The Files of The Police Squad!
On this the final week of 2019, all I can say is, this year has been some year — as if someone played a dirty joke on us all, it’s all over except for the crying. (But, don’t cry it will make me sad.) It was a topsy-turvy year and in the end it won’t mean a hill of beans, but as we own our beans, we must also own our year. Traditionally, at the end of each year I like to sit back and review said year in terms of the ever-lovin’ column commonly referred to as, Don’t Rush Me.
I’ve only penned over 1,700 of these bad boys, and gosh, the last one of the year should be easy to pop outta’ my brain. You see, I write ‘em to forget ‘em so remembering back to what I wrote about last week, let alone this past year is a wee bit sketchy. Thanks to the internet, however, my burden as been lessened. To make your life easier, I’ve gone back and done all the work. So, sit back, relax, read and reminisce.
One of my favorite parts of writing a column is writing the headline. I think they call these things “click bait” these days, but I don’t like that analogy. To me headlines are the hook (not the bait), which hopefully gets you to stop on a page and read what’s under those big, blocky, bold words. Over the course of 2019, here are some of my favorite Don’t Rush Me headlines (and not in any order other than newest to oldest).
2019 Don’t Rush Me Headlines
I guess I like the rapey song better (Dec. 18)
How to eat This Christmas season (Dec. 4)
Don Rush: AKA ‘Fashionista’ (Oct. 2)
School days, school days, time to break some rules days (Sept. 4)
Flying dinosaurs are walking our streets
Yup. It’s kinda, almost relatively summerish
Hey! Back off! My dandelions have a purpose. (May 29)
What Don thinks on Valentine’s Day (Feb. 13)
Deplorables and their language (Jan. 9)
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As the cheapest, knuckle-dragging Neanderthal in town one of the useful benefits of my job writing a column is I don’t need a therapist, counselor or any other kinda’ head shrink. I use this hour a week writing what’s on my mind, sharing my fears, frustrations and other personal stuff. It’s my therapy and you all are my therapists.
Yup, I guess aside from being cheap, you can also call me a “user.” I use your comments to fill out these columns, it’s easy and I’m all about The Easy Way. (Which, if you didn’t know, was the B side to the 45 rpm record Make the World Go Away recorded by Eddie Arnold in 1963.) Thanks, and keep telling me what you think. Some years I really tick off readers and I get lambasted with your honest-to-goodness thoughts. Not so much for 2019 — you all seem to agree with me and write in to say so (either that, or I’ve chased all the namby-pamby, wimpasasaurases away).
So, I’ve got that going for me.
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Always a Curious George kinda’ kid, I just like finding out stuff and birthing these columns gives me the opportunity to quench that thirst for knowledge. I love having useless tidbits of info crammed into the folds of my cerebrum (and other parts of my brain).
A few fun facts I learned in 2019
According to MichiganAudubon.org, these sandhill cranes are Michigan’s largest bird measuring up to five feet tall, with wingspans up to seven feet wide.
Compared to Pterodactylus antiquus, sandhill cranes are big. The flying dinosaurs’ wingspans are estimated to have been only three and a half feet wide. Pterodactyls lived 200 million to 136 million years ago, with fossils found in Europe and Africa.
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Since 1951 the song, Baby, It’s Cold Outside has been recorded by almost 70 times by different artists.
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Dandelions, I discovered are an excellent source of vitamins A, C and K. They also contain vitamin E, folate and small amounts of other B vitamins; are a rich source of beta-carotene and polyphenolic compounds, both of which are known to have strong antioxidant capabilities that can prevent aging and certain diseases; plus a number of “may help” benefits.
Who woulda’ thunk it?
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Thank you all for reading and writing, I hope your 2019 was a good one and I pray your 2020 is full of love, health and happiness.
Send comments to DontRushDon@gmail.com