I love readers! They are so helpful. Just when I hit a bump in the creative process, or there are too many unexpected turns in the road of work, readers call or mail something that can be used.
So, without further eloquence . . .
Linda S., from W. Oakwood Road, called me the other week in regards to scam artists hitting locals. She, though probably randomly, has been targeted twice in recent months.
First, she received a letter via US Postal Service from C. Carlos Martin of Madrid, Spain. Oh, by the way, Carlos was from the ‘International Lotto Commission.? She had won a lot of Euros, which, once exchanged, would be about a million American greenbacks. He only needed her checking account and that account’s routing number.
Gee, that’s all?
The latest was a phone call ‘from somebody who sounded like they were from India.?
Since I, your humble scribe, was not privy to that conversation, I’ll make it up — cuz I am sure it went something like this.
Says Raj, sounding like Apu at the Kwicki-Sav Mart, ‘You’ve won the lottery you entered in January.?
Says Linda, ‘I didn’t enter a lottery in January. And, Raj, buddy o-pal, this sounds fishy.?
Raj, ‘Well, ease your mind, madame. This is totally legitimate. As a matter of fact, you’ve probably heard about it on TV. Just give me your routing number and checking account number so we can enter the winnings into your bank account.?
Linda, ‘Tapping phones and buying $500 toilet seats are one thing, but this doesn’t sound like something my government would allow.?
And, before disconnecting, she hears a faint voice sounding as if it cameall the way from India, ‘Oh, but madame, we are American, too.?
There are a couple of things here, dear reader, I need to make clear for you.
1. Letters, e-mails and phone calls telling you have won something are, in a word, fake. If you just believe that, you won’t be taken for a ride. (And, if you ever are a winner, you won’t know you missed it, so you won’t feel bad.)
2. Remember: Everything you hear about on TV is absolutely, 100 percent the gospel truth. I mean, come on, if they say it, it must be true . . . right?
Oh, one more thing: Linda called the local authorities who directed her to the FBI, who said, and I quote, ‘Listen up Doll-face, don’t get your baby-blues all in a lather. Enough of the chit-chat, see, we Feds only investigate thems who were scammed. You’se was approached by some pallooka, but didn’t lose any doe-ray-me, see. Meaning, you’se wasn’t scammed. So, while it’s your dime, see, stop bending my ear. And have a good day.?
* * *
Reader ‘Bob? (who is obviously of the M-24 corridor and loves all the development over the last 20 years) wrote:
‘Hey, when will construction start on the Orion Skyway?
‘This is the only solution for the M-24 clog. It is going to get worse as time goes on. The Skyway will start south of Clarkston Road, and take traffic north over the village of Lake Orion. It will touch down somewhere between Orion and Oxford, then it will take traffic north over Oxford to Boulder Pointe.
‘Traffic can not be routed to the west, due to Lake Orion, and if it went east it would take out the village of Lake Orion. A tunnel is not feasible. M-24 can’t be expanded in the bottle neck sections, so the Skyway is the only answer.
‘The sooner this gets started the better. It should be a self financing toll road.
‘Just some food for thought.? Bob
Bob, sounds great, except for the part that would leave Oxford and Orion looking like Zilwaukee. Ever been to Zilwaukee, that little city under the bridge and on the crisp, clean banks of the mighty Saginaw River? I have. Uhm, it ain’t pretty, Bob.
I think we need to work on a more feasible solution to the clogged artery known as M-24. I propose we all get personal flight machines, PFMs, if you will. I’ve seen a couple of prototypes over the years. I believe Sean Connery had one that strapped to the back and Dick VanDyke drove a PFM that looked like a 1920’s racer and made the sound, chitty, chitty, bang, bang when idling.
Come on Bob, get real! I say it is time we make a royal proclamation that says: all kids MUST ride the bus to school.
If school districts really cared about the kids? future they would shut down the parking lots — or only allow the ‘A? students parking permits. That would save gas, cut back on pollution, cleanse our roadways of congestion and offer an incentive to students to get good grades. Far more effective than being on an ‘honor? roll that includes every name in the class (as not to upset some students).
On a side note, did you now the man who wrote the James Bond books, Ian Flemming, was the same person who wrote the book that Chitty Chitty Bang Bang movie was based?