‘I would have killed for a cup of coffee?

Who better to attempt to break a world record for eating doughnuts than a police officer, right?
Alas, Kim Rossman, who worked for the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office for 31? years, fell short in his attempt to do so back in December while vacationing in Aruba with his wife of 33 years, Beth.
But his effort to achieve notoriety through gluttony was immortalized with not one, but two photos of him in the Caribbean island newspaper Aruba Today.
‘It was fun,? said Rossman, a former Oxford resident who now lives in Groveland Township. ‘There was a big crowd of people at the grocery store cheering you on.?
Ling & Sons Super Center hosted the attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the most powdered doughnuts eaten in 3 minutes. Rossman read about it in the local newspaper and decided to give it a whirl.
‘I was bored,? he said with a chuckle.
The current record is six doughnuts and it was achieved on Dec. 12, 2010 by Australian Shamus Petherick. He set it in Deception Bay, Queensland, Australia.
Participants in the record attempt were each given a plate full of Dutch doughnuts known as ‘oliebollen,? which literally means ‘oil balls.? The sweet treats are traditionally eaten in the Netherlands on New Year’s Eve.
Unfortunately, Rossman, who worked for the sheriff’s office from 1978 to 2009, didn’t get anywhere near the record.
‘I got through one-and-a-half,? he said. ‘I couldn’t go any further.?
‘They’re very light and airy, but you couldn’t have anything to drink, you couldn’t lick your lips and you couldn’t touch your face. You just had to eat doughnuts,? explained Rossman, who volunteers with the Free Meals program at Oxford United Methodist Church.
On top of all that, each doughnut had to be swallowed before another could be consumed.
‘They turn to dough in your mouth and it just sticks in your throat,? Rossman said. ‘I would have killed for a cup of coffee.?
Once Rossman got to the point where he realized he wasn’t going to break the record and become part of the Guinness elite, he relaxed and enjoyed the sticky spectacle.
‘I just kind of sat back and finished my second one,? he said.