Beth Webster never dreamed she would one day be relying on the kindness of strangers to help take care of her elderly mother.
But that is exactly what Webster, 63, and her husband Richard, 65, who live in Lake Orion and operate Photos Unique in the village, have had to do as they have seen their retirement savings dwindle.
Webster said her mother, 87-year-old Waterford resident Verga Shearer, was able to walk, talk and eat on her own until a 2001 fall broke her right jaw and left hip. Having previously broken her right hip, Shearer’s health deteriorated further after she had at least two strokes that the family knew of, and was diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). Because of the COPD, Webster said putting her mother in a nursing home is not an option.
“If she gets a plug of phlegm in her airway, someone has to be there virtually round the clock,” Webster said. “She also has allergies…she’d be dead in a matter of minutes because her airway is obstructed. She made me promise years ago I’d never put her in a nursing home.”
Webster and her husband have since been arranging private care for Shearer in her Waterford home, paying $8-16 dollars per hour out of their own pocket to have in-home-caregivers. Webster said they have already gone through all of her mother’s and late father’s $325,000.
“I spend a majority of my time trying to schedule caregivers so I can work,” said Webster. “We’ve lost most of our customer base since mom fell in 2001.”
Webster has owned Photos Unique for 25 years, and started it when she was with her first husband. After she married Richard, who had an interest in photography, Webster gave up her former career of accounting and went to Oakland Community College for photography classes.
Due the 24-hour-a-day care that her mother, a retired elementary school teacher, requires, Webster said getting a second job to help pay expenses isn’t an option when she barely has time to work at the business.
“We’ve been trying to get some help, but nothing worked, so to speak,” she said, adding that her mother’s church, their church and a charitable organization did donate $1,700, collectively.
“At the beginning, it was me, my husband and our stepson (helping to care for Shearer)…my brother would alternate days…but she had dementia and almost set the house on fire twice,” said Webster of her mother. “We knew at that point she really had to have someone there all of the time.”
Webster said her mother had fallen numerous times, possibly causing some type of head injuries, before any one was staying with her 24 hours a day.
After her second fall in 2001, Webster began hiring people from a private agency but soon found she had to find her own caregivers.
“The deductible for medical expenses on her income taxes was $35,000 for half a year,” she said. “Because we had to cash in her annunities, it raised her household income for the tax return.”
Webster said the result was that the State of Michigan said her mother’s household income was too high to be given a property tax credit, which could have helped pay for medical expenses. Currently inheritance; proceeds of a life insurance policy; gifts of cash over $300, merchandise or expenses paid on your behalf; funds paid directly to you as a scholarship, stipend, grant or GI bill; and payments made on your behalf must be included in household income.
“It’s just wrong,” Webster said. “The State of Michigan allows for no catastrophic problem in a family’s life. The Feds give you somewhat of a break…but the state doesn’t.
“We had to cash in our savings…savings for our retirement. Richard cashed in his General Motors stock …(Michigan) won’t help you with any money, but they won’t give you a (property) credit either,” she said.
Webster said she plans to lobby to have the law changed. “I’m on a crusade for that one,” she said. “If they have to use their own money…they should not be further penalized by losing their property tax credit.”
Webster said her mother doesn’t qualify for medicaid, so there’s no help from the state in that avenue either.
“It’s time the State of Michigan keeps up with the times,” she said.
Webster said her mother’s current income is $2,000 a month, with expenses over $7,000 a month.
“Our pensions and social securities don’t make up the difference,” she said. “Without help from the state, many families are left in a bind…We have papers to get a second mortgage on our house. In the meantime, we’ve run out of money.
The Websters have placed a donation can in the window of their business, Photos Unique, where people may leave donations. Webster said a couple of weeks ago someone slipped $10 under the door but did not leave a note so she could thank them.
“That $10 helped pay for some prescriptions,” said Webster. “Even if people can’t give money, if they could just send a card (to Shearer)…it helps so much.
“We’ve refinanced our van…thank God for Oxford Bank,” she said. “They’ve worked with us wonderfully.”
Webster said when scheduled caregivers aren’t able to show up for their shift, she or Richard have to fill in, which means they can’t open their business.
“We’ve probably lost $100,000 in income since 2001,” she said. “We have no life anymore…(Shearer’s) electric bill is $151 (because of hospital equipment), and we just can’t pay it.”
Webster said most people don’t know Richard attended Yale University, because they expect Yale graduates to be rich.
“We’re not lazy people, we want to work,” she said. “We’re not capable of caring for mom 24 hours a day.”
“We never thought it would come to this,” Richard said of the request for donations.
Webster said her mother had a surgery to put in a feeding tube, and had not been talking or moving anything but her left arm and hand.
“She’s trying to talk now, but her words come out garbled, which frustrates her because she was a well-educated woman,” she said. “When I was a child I was sick…my father said she sat next to my bed for 36 hours straight. How can I do any less for her?”
The Websters welcome any donations or assistance, cards and prayers for the care of Beth’s mother. They hope perhaps someone in the area might be able to hold a benefit for them.
Donations can be dropped off or mailed to Verga Shearer, C/O Beth Webster, Photos Unique, 51 S. Broadway, Lake Orion, MI, 48362. The Websters can be reached by calling 1-800-949-7427.