Don’t you hate to read about a study coming out of any university that draws a very obvious conclusion? So obvious one can only wonder why a professor would undertake such a study?
First the conclusion of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign study: ‘Fat people use more gasoline.?
Isn’t that profound? For decades automobile manufacturers have been substituting aluminum for steel, plastics for metal and synthetics for fabrics to lessen the weight of cars so they get more gas mileage.
Sure, they saved some manufacturing costs, but everyone knows lighter cars use less gas.
Computer science professor Sheldon Jacobson wrote in The Enginnering Economist, ‘Our nation’s hunger for food and our nation’s hunger for oil are not independent.?
So, he went back to 1960, with the help of National Center for Health Statistics, and compared his and her weights to today’s weights.
With the help of a doctoral student, Sheldon, I believe all professors have doctoral candidates as helpers, found adult men of today have gained an average of 31 pounds and adult women 24 pounds.
Sheldon said his research wasn’t meant to be nagging, but to show an unexpected benefit to losing weight is one will use less fuel.
I’m sure everyone reading this result will go on a diet immediately, join a health club and or sign up for liposuction. And, they will all be yelling, ‘Thank you, Sheldon!?
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A comedian on Dick Purtan’s show recently observed how nice it was for elementary school children to be able to take an NBA player to their class and teach the player how to read.
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It’s so irritating to read the starting time for a televised ball game to read, say 8 o’clock, only to find talking heads filling up 30 minutes with their opinions on each player, each coach, the ball boy, the blonde (which is all of them) cheerleader, their stock pick and name 24 prospects for the Heisman Trophy.
Did I tell you I’m trying to teach ma’dog Shayna to eat spaghetti? I put the end of noodle in her mouth, but instead of sucking it in like normal dogs, she flips it up and gobbles it down.
I’ll be glad when the hand-slapping fad ends. Whether it’s a touchdown in football or a fumble, a home run or foul, a free throw or penalty, these so-called fans have to jump up, turn around and slap everybody’s hand in rows 12 through 20. Ridiculous.
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We should all wonder about telephone poll figures. Politics or products, the promoters want to know the thoughts of readers and viewers, especially in the 25 to 40 age group. They are the ones moving mountains these days, it seems.
Well, these are also the ones who, more and more, are abandoning land lines of communication and going all cellular. I’m getting more and more operators saying, ‘The number you have reached has been disconnected.?
I suppose this is a temporary problem for callers. They’ll probably find a way to intrude on ‘un-lined? people, too.
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* It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile. One nut to scatter it all over the road.
* The best car safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop in it.
* Believe in yourself. Trust others. See a sunrise. Listen to rain. Reminisce. Cry when you need to.
*Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards — Naive.