For widows and widowers, dealing with the loss of their spouses can be devastating.
Fortunately, support for them is available right here in Lake Orion.
‘For so many people, after they’re widowed, their personalities change,? said Jacklyn Rolf, a Lake Orion resident who holds gatherings in her Hi Hill home.
Rolf, a widow herself, and a group of other widows and widowers in Oakland County, joined together three and a half years ago to form the ‘On With Life? support group.
Rolf decided to start the group after Bethany groups stopped catering to the widowed. She was hesitant about the idea at first, but relied on the help of a higher power.
‘My daughter was having a baby through in vitro fertilization,? she recalled. ‘I agreed to set up the program if she had a safe delivery.?
Because of the length of the meetings, Rolf decided to begin hosting at her home, and she tries to limit them to about 25 members because of parking concerns.
They meet on the first Tuesday of each month for discussion, and on the third Wednesday of each month for a social night.
‘To see some of the development of these people is just great,? Rolf said.
Rolf said the best feature of the group is that there are no commitments, so the involvement is totally up to the participant.
‘We’re an ongoing group, you don’t join for a certain length of time,? she said. ‘There are no dues. We’re just a helping hand.?
Some people come to just a few meetings and others keep coming back for the camaraderie.
‘After years of marriage, it is not easy to venture out on your own,? noted Rolf.
The group has adopted a buddy program to help with the first step. The buddies contact each other each week just for some conversation.
‘Eventually, you have several contacts you can talk to,? said Rolf.
Some members have even started dating other members. ‘But that’s not the purpose of the group,? Rolf said.
The group is entirely confidential. Many members are recommended to the group by other family members, such as sons or daughters trying to help a widowed parent move on.
The group ranges in age from mid-30s to early 80s, and caters equally to both sexes. Rolf said many of the group members are still working too.
‘It’s not just a little old ladies group,’she said.
In addition to the scheduled meetings, Rolf said there are often a few other times when group members will get together each month.
Along with movie trips, concerts and book discussions, Rolf said she’s organized hikes, kayaking lessons and even camping trips.
The group has become so popular that Rolf now has members coming from as far away as St. Clair Shores, Walled Lake and Highland.
‘I have people coming from all over,? she said.
In spite of the popularity, Rolf still holds the meetings just to help others, not to make a profit.
She asks visitors to pay just $1.50, to cover coffee, tea, snacks and her mailings.
‘I’m not making any money,? she said.
For more information about the group, contact Jacklyn Rolf at 393-8553.