As president and CEO of HAVEN, a counseling center for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence, Beth Morrison is leading the fight against abuse.
Morrison defines domestic violence as a pattern of behavior over time where one person uses tactics to gain or maintain power over another individual, essentially believing it is their right to have power over an intimate partner.
Sometimes, she says, men may feel it is a societal role to have power and control over an individual. They may have seen it patterned between their own father and mother or with other men in their circle. It may be part of their religious, cultural, or community norms, Morrison adds, but she and many others are working to break the pattern.
‘We are changing the norms of male domination and creating a strong structure with the police and courts to hold perpetrators responsible,? Morrison said. ‘If all the key members in a community operate on the premise of keeping batterers accountable and supporting women in their right to be safe, then a change would be more effective. Everything is built on being safe… You need to feel safe in order to be a fully-functioning, healthy individual.?
Morrison notes that there are often subtle indictations a person is a potential abuser, including the individual attempting to control his partner’s style of dress, haircut, who she is friends with and wanting to know where the partner is at all times. Violence can often begin after the marriage, even while a couple is still on their honeymoon. It may not become threatening until much later in a relationship and not all domestic violence has the end form of physical violence? it may be emotional and verbal abuse.
Morrison says women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons? finances, children, a lack of support, pressure to stay because a commitment has been made, or, fear for their life if they leave.
Some women believe a violent dad for their children is better than no dad, or they have been told so often they are responsible for the abuse they begin to believe it is their fault or if they were a better wife, it wouldn’t happen.
‘At HAVEN, we encourage someone in an abusive relationship to see what their options are,? Morrison said. ‘They may not think they have any or are overwhelmed. We don’t tell people what to do, but help them understand there is help out there.?
HAVEN has a shelter, counselors and advocates who can help women formulate a safety plan, look at their options, and offer support. HAVEN helps abuse survivors obtain personal protection orders and offers a supervised parenting time program where advocates monitor visits and do exchanges so all parties can be safe.
HAVEN also offers counseling for abusers.
‘For abusers to change, they must break through denial and take responsibility for being violent and make a commitment to change behaviors so they can be non-violent.?
Ultimately, HAVEN believes the victim knows what is best for her, Morrison said.
‘Instinctively and through her experience, she knows when it is the right time to end it and change things,? she said. ‘We’re here to help when that time is right.?