Aging is for grapes, and they just hang around

It was like any other day. I put the bacon back in the toaster, the muffins in the freezer and the orange juice in the cupboard.
Doctor, that medicine you gave me for my dog Shayna, isn’t working. So, I tried a few doses myself. Didn’t stop my itching, either.
I’m not aging gracefully.
Speaking of Shayna, she’s the one who is aging. After frying anything I put the pan on the floor. When I can’t complete a dinner, I put the plate on the floor.
This week it dawned on me that Shayna may be suffering from a weakening tongue, effects of atrophy or just not hungry.
You see, if Shayna doesn’t do a good job licking the plate or pan clean, I have to put them in the dishwasher, and environmentalists don’t like me wasting water like that.
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The Old Farmer’s Almanac says our region is going to have 17 days of rain this month. Oh, yeah, and 12 days of sunshine.
Almanac writers have to know a lot about their readers. Why else would they print so much stuff about manure? Like how to make manure tea.
Oh, you don’t drink it. You pour it around your plants.
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My note on my love of bacon/tomato (forget the lettuce) sandwiches brought a comment from Todd. He wrote, ‘If you want good bacon, go to Walsh Packing House in Pidgeon, MI.?
Then he wants us to take a bite of the bacon at room temperature. ‘If it tastes like cardboard at room temp, then chances are that’s how it will taste cooked.?
Love the idea. Next time, I’m in a store that slices bacon at point-of-sale I’m asking for a bite, especially if I’m in Pidgeon.
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Monday Night Football started last week. My tv schedule listed a 7 p.m. start.
Before that, Bob, an excited friend, left a message, ‘The streak has started!? He was referring to the only win the Detroit Lions have had in 3 or 4 years.
And that’s how nutty professional football followers are. No other sport can list a starting time as 7 o’clock and not show a play of that game for an hour and a half.
The tv network can get away with this lie, hyperbole and intelligence insulting because they know their audience.
I’ve concluded the pro-football promoters know their audience is made up of the unemployed, underachievers, and goalless who are oblivious to the world’s offerings or are just plain nuts.
It amounts to the filling of 90 minutes of airtime with 14 million interruptions for commercials.
My conclusion was reaffirmed when the Lions? faithful, previously faithless, went ballistic over a very narrow win Sept. 27, 2009. Get a life. Follow the Tigers. Their games start on tv just five minutes late.
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Our state, Michigan, is in dire financial straits.
The Democrat Party Chairman, Mark Brewer, says it all started with Republican President Bush coaching Governor Engler on how to delay a recovery.
He says Governor Granholm is hamstrung over attempts to revive our state by . . . oh, never mind.
No one, well no one we know of, can find a way to down-size state government to fit the income.
Yet the Mackinac Center folks have named 101 recommendations to revitalize Michigan.
So why can’t our legislators go for the cure?
Yeah, they have to seek reelection and the Mackinac Center folks don’t. The state, the people, are not being put first.