Families across the United States are rejoicing as members of the military begin the slow return home from overseas. One Oxford family has recently been able to join these joyous ranks and welcome home a dad they have had little communication with for several months.
Richard Bennett, 44, a staff sergeant in the Air National Guard stationed at Selfridge Air Base, returned home from the war in Iraq on June 10. Richard, who shipped out on February 20, had been stationed on an air base just outside of the war torn country in Saudi Arabia. He was a member of base security.
‘It was hot, isolative and tedious,? said Richard. ‘We didn’t get much time off, and when we did there really wasn’t anything to do. We just maintained security for the base.?
Towards the end of his term, Richard was transferred to Al-Jaber Air Base in Kuwait. He said that things were better there since the base was more established.
At home, Richard had a troop of support awaiting his return. His wife Jennifer, 42, a teacher at Oxford Middle School, was busy keeping the household and their five sons – Nathaniel, 19; Jason, 11; Jacob, 9; Zachary, 7; and Aaron, 6 – in order. The family has lived in Oxford for the past four years.
‘It was an amazing trial taking care of all the boys,? said Jennifer. ‘There were some things that were difficult.?
‘It’s a phenomenal job handling five kids on your own.?
Jennifer described how she had to use in home daycare, support from a really close friend, and assistance from the military’s family support center. She said that daycare took a lot of her trust since she was bringing a stranger into her home, but everything has worked well.
‘With everyone’s schedules, I knew I couldn’t get all of the boys out of the house on time without help,? she explained. ‘Then at night, I would literally fall into bed after putting the boys to bed at nine.?
Jennifer also had to handle a very difficult situation: her oldest son Nathan had been involved in the construction bus arson at Oxford Middle School.
‘It was incredibly difficult,? she said calmly. ‘It was a helpless feeling. I just had to sit back and watch what was going to happen. There was little I could do.?
‘The hardest part was only getting to see him one time while he was gone.?
Richard also had a rough time with the incident. He was home when the case began, but was shipped overseas before events concluded.
‘I didn’t find out what was decided until much later when I got transferred to Kuwait,? he explained. ‘It was kind of funny though. Nathan’s mail got to me before my wife’s ever did.?
The Bennetts agreed that the most difficult point of their experience was the lack of communication available
‘We were isolated as far as communication,? said Richard. ‘They had a blackout on us. The people at home knew more about the war than we did.?
A communication blackout meant that only army messages were coming through. Jennifer said that communication with her husband was one way, from him, and could be measured in weeks at a time.
‘Mail was the only communication that we had, and it was very, very poor,? she said. ‘It was tough. I would sit down at night and write what had happened that day. I sent him a 17 page letter at one point.?
She continued to explain that she couldn’t even know where he was stationed, and he couldn’t tell her.
‘I would watch the news and never even know if he was going in or if he was in danger,? she added.
Even packages were delayed, often taking weeks, if not months, to reach the soldiers. Jennifer said she sent four packages total – one with some of Richard’s necessities like his glasses and a video camera, and three goodies boxes.
‘The goodies boxes got there before the video camera,? she laughed. ‘He didn’t get the video camera and stuff until the last month he was there.?
The couple did confirm that packages, letters and banners sent by different schools were arriving daily overseas.
In the end, Richard, who volunteered for his tour of duty, feels that he left his wife with the harder assignment. Jennifer explained that the couple made the decision together for him to go, but she was glad he felt confident leaving her in charge.
‘Because I had a strong partner, I knew things were being taken care of here at home,? Richard explained. ‘I knew that even though things were hard, she could handle it. This is definitely a hard experience. Not many people can go through it and rise above it.?
‘I had it easy compared to her.?
Jennifer said her own support network is what pulls her through.
‘When in this situation, find someone whom you can relate to with the experience,? she advises. ‘Find someone who can be there when you need them. Someone you can talk to.?
The mother of five said she had a very close friend and the wife of her husband’s superior officer. ‘She was going through the exact same thing, so she could relate.?
In Oxford, the couple said they have received amazing support and encouragement.
‘When I’m out in uniform, I’ve actually had people walk up to me and say ‘Thank you,?? said Richard.
‘Even though we’re not in a military community, the support here has been absolutely tremendous,? concluded Jennifer.