My old roommate enjoyed one last cup of Michigan chai tea Aug. 29 before heading back to China for another year of working on her language study courses. She has a really cute apartment and her new Chinese friends are very happy their blond foreign friend is coming home.
Did I mention the above description is her secret identity to avoid being arrested by the Communist Party? That’s right. No, she doesn’t work for the CIA. Nope, my roommate is a missionary. Just call her ‘Agent Carolyn.?
(I could tell you where she lives in China, but then I would have to kill you. I’m one of three people who knows, and I must keep it that way…)
When we graduated from Michigan State last year, Carolyn wasn’t sure if she wanted to go to graduate school right away, but knew she for a fact that she wanted to help others somehow. After some research, she found out about a group that sends young adults overseas to spread Christianity.
Now, I don’t agree with what my roommate does in China. However, there is something else that bothers me more than her current career: My ex-roommate claims that there are no small electronics in China.
For Christmas last year, a group of us decided to get Carolyn a digital camera so she could show us pictures of the other missionaries and some of the trips she was going to take. I thought it was a great idea at first. We would just wire her some money and she could have her choice of any camera she wanted.
It was a good idea while it lasted.
‘Yeah, I can’t find one over here. Can you guys just send me one of those Kodak ones?? she said on the phone one night.
‘What? You’re kidding, right? You can’t find one digital camera anywhere around you? Have I been lied to about ‘Made in China? my whole life?? I said.
‘No, but they (cameras) just aren’t in my village and I don’t want to go look for one,? she said. While adventurous in her travels to Asia, Carolyn is notorious for being the laziest person I know. After all, I lived with her for three years and I think I saw her put an entire load of laundry away twice.
To this day I still think she was lying to me. My dad lived in Thailand for a while when he was in the Air Force and brought back a complete Sansui stereo system. So, you can imagine my surprise when my roommate couldn’t find one blasted digital camera in northern China.
Back at home, buying electronics around Christmas was about as smart as thinking northbound I-75 will be free of traffic at 4:45 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon. I thought a digital camera made a great gift; so did the rest of mid-Michigan.
I’m pretty sure I visited every Target in Oakland County looking for the camera Carolyn just ‘had to have.? But I was determined to live up to my reputation as the world’s best roommate and send small electronic magic overseas. I finally found one and couldn’t wait to get rid of it. Or, mail it, I mean.
Would you like to know how difficult it was to get that camera to her village? Censors going through mail are notorious in customs (so I’ve been told) for opening big packages and taking things out. Because of this concern, we had to find another family of missionaries to hide the camera in their luggage and deliver it to her village. It worked, but it just took them a month to get it there.
Of course, Carolyn e-mailed me regularly to ask where it was.
I have this vision of a really bad Hallmark commercial where the village postman wheels in and takes out a dusty letter and delivers it to the American kid from the Peace Corps. I’m sure it had some warm message from his mom on it and he cried. Mine to Carolyn would have been different. It would have read, ‘I don’t believe there are no digital cameras in China, idiot.?
As we were saying our good-byes on the eve of her departure, I gave Carolyn a hard time because she didn’t see any problems with smuggling cupcake frosting and chewy chipsters into the China. Similar to the digital camera fiasco, she put me on a chase last year for instant soup to send over. I reminded her that people work in the Department of Agriculture for a reason…
Carolyn doesn’t get a choice for her Christmas gift this year. I’m sending her an economy pack of Oreos and writing ‘Made in China? across the front.