Like thousands of Michiganders, over the Labor Day weekend my husband Matt and I made our way Up North to a cabin. The cabin has been in his family for generations, and Matt loves it there. I wouldn’t categorize myself as the cabin-type, but every couple of years I agree to a weekend in the woods. This year it was under the stipulation that I would do as little cooking as possible.
That meant that Saturday morning we headed “into town” to a delightful dinner at the top of a large hill. As I thought they might be given the holiday weekend and their proximity to a beautiful lake, it was packed. A waitress caught my eye when we walked in and to my surprise offered a super friendly greeting telling us she’d clear a table as soon as possible. Given how obviously busy the staff was, I didn’t expect such a warm welcome.
Our entire visit went on like that. About an hour after our arrival there was a brief lull in traffic. The other waitress (there were only two) said “Wow, this is the most quiet it’s been all morning! But I like it loud. This is a family place. That’s the way it should be.”
She’s right. No one wants to own, work at or even dine in an empty diner. The experience got me thinking about how we could all benefit from a shift in mind set when it comes to being busy.
Today it seems like the standard response to the question “How are you doing?” is “Busy!” Even I’m guilty of responding that way. And while I am quick to follow up with “that’s a good thing!” I hate that the busy buzzword has even come out of my mouth. Of course I’m busy. We’re all busy, but I challenge us all to find a better way to greet one another. Why? At best “busy” is not an accurate response to “How are you doing.” At worst, responding that way can make you sound self-important. Are you really so busy you’ve forgotten how to make conversation? Plus, let’s not forget that being busy is a good thing.
Since for many of us “busy” has become a type of automatic response, breaking the cycle will take some work. Here are two tips to make it happen:
Prepare a better response: Rather than “busy” a better response to “How are you doing” would be to answer the question at hand. Most of us will start with “Good.” Although vague, it’s appropriate for most interactions and keeps the conversation positive. Once you respond with “good” or even “great,” I encourage you to add more. If you are in fact, busy, share what you’ve got going on. Here’s my new and improved response. “I’m good! I’m working on my column, and our team is in the final planning stages for our Bottles, Brews & News event coming up on Saturday, Sept. 21. I’d love for you to join us, do you have tickets yet?”
Now I’ve made conversation and maybe even a sale! Hopefully in giving that response, the person I’m speaking with follows suit, and we can have a conversation instead of just going back and forth with “Busy.” “Yeah, me too.”
If you’re responding that you’re too busy to attend a meeting or even an event with family or friends it’s still best to explain what you’re doing versus saying “I’m too busy.”
A Harvard Business Review article on the topic cited studies conducted by Harvard Business School that found people do not respond well to lack of time as an excuse. From the article, “…we think (people) should be able to make time to do the things in life they really want to do. So we’re more likely to distrust the excuse that they don’t have time for us …”
The research showed that an excuse of not enough money or not enough energy are better received. Personally, I think honesty is the best policy.
Try not to be so busy: You may laugh at this one depending on the week you’re having, but there may be things you can do to not be so busy. Start by tracking your day hour-by-hour or simply by a.m. and p.m. This will allow you to see what is taking up your time and analyze whether or not the task is worthy of the commitment.
Maybe you’ll see a task or two that you can delegate to your team, or one that you can simply stop doing because it is not yielding results equal to your time and effort. Tracking your tasks may prove that it’s time to grow your team, and it may put in black and white that you are prioritizing something that you shouldn’t be.
Instead of “busy,” what will you say the next time someone asks you “How are you doing?” Email me at ecaswell@mihomepaper.com.
Emily Caswell is the Brand Manager for VIEW Group, the branding division of View Newspaper Group.