Fall parenting and caregiver series at library

Brandon Twp.- Help your children learn to solve problems on their own with a new program at the library.
A conflict resolution workshop which kicks off a fall parenting and caregiver series is planned for 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m., Sept. 22 at the library, 304 South St.
The workshop combines ‘Turning conflicts into learning? and ‘Children can solve their own problems? offered by Oakland Family Services: Early Learning Communities, Brandon Groveland Youth Assistance and the library.
‘It’s giving steps to help children resolve conflicts without stepping in and doing it for them,? said Margaret Sclesky, lead HUB trainer for Oakland Family Services, and former Head Start preschool teacher for 20 years. ‘Help them recognize conflict before it starts and becomes fisticuffs. Help them learn natural or normal consequences? ‘if I do this, this will happen.??
The training, based off High Scope curriculum used for developmental preschool, is geared toward the parents and caregivers of young children up to seven years of age.
Sclesky notes there are personal conflict styles and the workshop has strategies for each style. Parents don’t want to be a turtle? in which they ignore conflict, nor do they want to be a shark, in which they try to solve problems for their child and hover. Instead, she advises being an owl and turn problems into learning opportunities for children.
Conflicts can help children develop important social skills and natural consequences are an alternative to punishment, which children don’t learn from, she said.
‘It’s a power thing,? said Sclesky. ‘If children have a natural or logical consequence, they learn from it. If it’s punishment, most of the time, they don’t know why they are punished.?
She uses a mud puddle as an example. If a child walks through the puddle, their feet will be cold and wet and uncomfortable and he will learn more from that than sitting in time out. If he spills milk at lunch, the natural consequence is that he must clean the spill.
Advanced techniques for conflict resolution with a young child includes approaching a situation calmly, acknowledging their feelings, gathering information and restating the problem. If children aren’t sharing with each other, for example, ask them to solve the problem and wait for what they come up with.