Never (ever) underestimate the ‘power’ of Don

By Don Rush


I’ve said it before and I will go out on yet another limb, never, under any circumstance, discount the awesomeness and the power of your hero, me . . . Dandy Don Rush. By the end of this chapter into the hallowed annals of Don’t Rushmedom, you will take me seriously and if you’re so inclined put your money where my mouth is.

Long before it was chic to puff up kids’ ego by making sure most get on the honor roll, or making sure all athletic participants get trophies, I was pretty sure I was “special.”
Being special had nothing to do with the bus I was riding. Being special meant I was different.
I figured that out early in life. From about 7th grade through high school a black crow used to follow me to the bus stop and caw. It was kinda’ creepy and I wasn’t sure it was a good thing, but that thing would glide along the tree tops next to me as I walked across the couple of front yards to the bus stop, then land on a dead tree. I didn’t — or don’t — know if anybody else was followed by a crow like I was. I was different, “special.” I would acknowledge its presence with a wave and meekly say, “Howdy.” I think I saw some sort of Vincent Price horror flick with a Raven a few years before the crow took to following me, so I may have been predisposed to believing in the supernaturalness of my winged sentry.

* * *

I don’t know what happened to said crow, but I do know I grew up and away from the old homestead. Never saw, nor even heard of the crow again, but eventually I learned of my “powers.” It’s not that I can look at something and with the will of force make that something move without touching it. Nope. I cannot look into the future and see what’s coming down the pike. I cannot even put a thought into someone else’s mind to make them think what I want them to. Nothing so comic-bookish.

However, if I were to be a comic book super power dude, I think my moniker would be The Contrarian.

Hear me out and be amazed.

In about 2009 our area still received good amounts of snow every winter. In 2009 or 2010 we had nearly 100 inches of snowfall in these parts. At that time, as ever the cheapskate, I only shoveled my driveway and sidewalk. No hiring someone else to do it, no shelling out hundreds of dollars to purchase a snowblower. Nada. I shoveled myself. That year I had so much snow piled up behind the driveway, the snow hill was taller than me. Towards the end of winter I had to climb the snow hill and shovel off that, so I could throw more snow on top. The following spring, I purchased my first snowblower.

And do you know what? Since then we haven’t had much snow. I have used it less than a dozen times in the dozen years since I bought it. It’s like new!

The Contrarian strikes!

* * *

We’ve always had vicious summer storms around here with lots of gusting winds and lightning. Power goes out a lot, except at Casa D’Rush. When inclement weather is heading my way and the TV Weatherman warns the viewing audience to seek shelter, I go to the bathroom and fill up my bathtub with water. This seemingly simple act of preparing for power outages has shielded my crib from harm. Last year, when I didn’t fill up my tub, Mother Nature brought her wrath down upon my home with straight line winds – knocking a 100 year old maple into my home, nearly killing it (my home).

When The Contrarian does not take action bad things happen.

* * *

This spring, I think most baseball fans in these parts were super optimistic on a great Detroit Tigers baseball season. I know I was. I was so sure they would improve over last year’s exciting-to-watch team that I bought not just one, but two fitted Detroit Tigers ball caps. When they play at home, I wear the old white English D hat; conversely when they are the away team, I wear the cap with the orange D. I think the act of me purchasing said ball caps caused this year’s club to really, really suck.

I guess The Contrarian’s powers are a blessing and a curse.

* * *

That being said, man, I am super stoked about this year’s Detroit Lions football team. I like their coach Dan Campbell. I like their young roster. I like their grit. I am so excited to start watching them, that just this past Sunday, I purchased a brand new, fitted Honolulu blue Lions ball cap.

One of the hottest bets in Vegas these days has to do with your Detroit football Lions. It’s an over-under bet. Last year the Lions won three games. The over-under in Vegas this year is six and a half. Will they win less than six games or more? Most folks are taking the “over.” Were I you and based on what you’ve read about the Power of Don, The Contrarian, I would take the “under.”

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