Brandon Twp.- Shawn Force knows about sudden, traumatic loss.
In 1997, Force’s sister took her own life.
‘I learned about suicide and the causes,? says Force. ‘There are so many whys? ‘why didn’t they come to me for help, why didn’t I see it happening, why did I go to work that day, why didn’t I call a half-hour earlier.? You keep looking for a reason, as a human being you want explanations for things. The only way to deal with it is to keep asking questions until you don’t have to anymore.?
She acknowledges that survivors won’t get the answers they seek. But Force, who works at Common Ground in Pontiac, will try to help members of the community who have been touched by suicide during a special presentation at 6:30 p.m., June 10, at St. Anne Church, 825 S. Ortonville Road.
Judy Henley, Christian services coordinator at the church, organized the program after a local man took his own life.
‘Everyone knew him,? she said. ‘It got people talking about it and other people in the community, they have friends or family members who have committed suicide. Especially in these difficult economic times, we thought it would be good information to share with community members, many of whom are stressed.?
Force plans to discuss grieving a suicide loss, as well as the importance of self-care, how to be supportive to someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, and the warning signs of suicide.
She notes there is a stigma still to suicide, with families often blamed or the person who takes their own life being perceived as morally weak. However, she said, suicide is the result of a mental illness.
‘Traumatic loss takes a longer time to grieve than a natural progression death,? Force said. ‘If we lose someone suddenly, we grieve birthdays, holidays, weddings? we grieve all the things we thought we would be doing with them.?
Risk factors for suicide include substance abuse, mental illness, isolation from the community and big losses of any kind including loss of a spouse, freedom, job, or home. To counteract these, protective factors can be increased, such as family, religious beliefs, involvement in the community and proper mental health care.
‘Educate yourself about the grieving process,? Force said. ‘You’re not losing your mind, you’re grieving a horrible loss. Memory problems and mood swings are normal reactions to a horrible event. Know you loved that person the best you could and surround yourself with people who love you.?
For more information on the program, call Judy Henley at 248-627-3965, ext.103. Common Ground Crisis Line is 1-800-231-1127 or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK.